


and they come unstuck

by justlikeswitchblades



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 16:58:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3700052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justlikeswitchblades/pseuds/justlikeswitchblades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kasamatsu would have never entertained the idea of going to an open mic by himself, let alone with Kise. Somehow, he ends up in that very situation, and although there are a few hiccups, he survives it intact, and much happier than he was a few hours before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and they come unstuck

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY 4/7!!! Any day involving Kikasa is a good day in my book. I listened to Riptide one too many times and then this happened. Kinda lowkey headcanoned Kasamatsu as having social anxiety in this, though I'll admit I don't know too much about that subject itself, and you should listen to [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86punaYUFxQ) when (spoiler?) Kasamatsu is playing at the open mic. Cheers!

It wasn’t every Tuesday night that Kasamatsu found himself riding the subway with his guitar strapped to his back. He usually balked at the idea of taking his guitar out of the house in the first place—he cared for it like a mother would her newborn child. Besides, the days of childhood recitals had long passed, and he preferred to hole himself up in his room whenever he played. Crowds at basketball games were a given, but outside of that, Kasamatsu wasn’t a fan of being the center of attention when it came to his music. 

Unfortunately for him, Kise had a knack for being incredibly persistent. For the past two weeks, he had constantly brought up the topic of some open mic he wanted to go to—at lunch, at practice, on their walks home, he just wouldn’t shut up about the damn thing. So Kasamatsu agreed to go with him, not only to make him change the conversation, but also because he admittedly liked hanging out with him. Kise had grown to be far much less of a nuisance than he was at the beginning of the school year, and with graduation steadily approaching, he wanted to spend time with him when he still lived nearby. That, and the look on his mother’s face when he told her he was going out for the night was so warm and bright it was probably capable of melting half the arctic.

His cheeks puffed out a little as he exhaled a stream of a sigh, gazing up at the map of the subway line’s stops above his head. The blond sitting in front of him smiled as he twirled the drawstring of his hoodie around his finger.

“We get off in two stops, Kasamatsucchi.” Kise’s eyes drifted down, watching Kasamatsu shift his weight from one foot to another. “Are you sure you don’t want to sit down? We can switch.”

“I’m sure I can last till then. Thanks, though.”

Kise hummed a soft laugh. “Okay.” The rush hour traffic had wound down a little by the time they got on the train, but there still was a fierce battle for a seat whenever one became free. Kise managed to snag one, but his upperclassman denied his offer when he asked if he wanted to sit. He told him he could at least hold his guitar, which Kasamatsu let him do, but only for the first half-hour of the ride. He was always so selfless like that, and Kise thought it was a little silly sometimes, but it still made his heart flutter.

The train finally pulled up to their stop a few minutes later, and they disembarked, heading up the escalator and making their way outside. Kasamatsu turned to Kise, taking off his backwards baseball cap to scratch his head for a second.

“Where to from here?” He asked the question a little warily as he shook the stiffness out of his legs, the area still metropolitan and well-lit, but unfamiliar. Kise offered him a reassuring smile before stepping out eagerly in front of him. 

“Don’t worry, Kasamatsucchi! I’ve been here a few times before. It’s only a block or so away, so we won’t be walking for too long.”

Kasamatsu hooked his thumbs in the straps of his guitar case as he followed Kise, peeking in the windows of restaurants and shops they passed and noticing that they were largely filling with people his age, if not a little older.

“Hey, this might be a stupid question, but…is there a university around here?”

“Mmhm! It’s Geidai.”

Kasamatsu’s brow wrinkled with a small frown. “Geidai? I don’t think I’ve heard of that one.”

“Tokyo University of the Arts.” Kise slowed down to walk beside Kasamatsu, shooting him a wink and a smile as he playfully knocked his knuckles against his head, making fun of his own goof. “My bad.”

Kasamatsu raised his eyebrows, impressed. “You know people who go to school here?”

“Mmhm! I had a photoshoot with a group of models a while back, and we really hit it off. Turns out most of them go to school here, so we try to hang out every other weekend or so, though it’s not super planned out or anything. You’ll be meeting some of them soon, but don’t worry, they’re all pretty chill.”

 _Oh._ Kasamatsu swallowed. The gears in his mind turned, slowly clicking into place. Of course Kise would have other friends like that. He was outgoing and could make conversation with anyone he encountered. Kasamatsu’s hobbies outside of basketball largely kept him indoors and isolated, while Kise’s allowed him to happily socialize. There wasn’t anything wrong with that, and yet Kasamatsu felt his heart sink a little, for a reason he couldn’t quite place.

“You’re okay with hanging out with people that much older than you?”

“They’re not _that_ much older, Kasamatsucchi. The oldest is maybe twenty-two or twenty-three, tops.”

Kasamatsu halted, eyes widening to stare at Kise, incredulous. “ _Twenty-three?_ That’s nearly half your age! How do you even know if these people are safe to be around, Kise?”

Kise gave him a quizzical look, eyebrow raised. “What are you, my mom? They’re perfectly fine.”

“ _Do_ your parents know that you hang out with these people?”

Kise spat out a laugh and turned away, taking a step forward. “ _Please._ I’m allowed to have some privacy.” Kasamatsu followed and grabbed his shoulder, turning him back around to face him.

“I’m serious, Kise! What if one of them tries to do something to you? You need to be careful!” Kasamatsu tried to voice his concerns, but Kise wrinkled his nose, wrenching his shoulder out from his grip.

“Of course I’m being careful! It’s not like I’m hanging out with a bunch of pedophiles!”

“Not on purpose, I’m sure, but—”

“I’m allowed to have a life outside of basketball, Kasamatsucchi!” Kise exclaimed, his voice jumping higher, even shrill for a moment. He paused, eyes wide, surprised at the words himself for a moment, but then inhaled sharply with a sniff, blinking back the beginnings of tears that threatened to well up in his eyes. He let out a shaky exhale.

“I just…you haven’t even met them yet. I thought you would be more open-minded than this,” he finally managed in a quiet voice, “But if you don’t want to be here, fine. Go home if you want.” He turned away, the words of the ultimatum stinging Kasamatsu as they floated in the open air. He gaped at Kise’s back, unsure how to react for a moment, but let his eyes drop down to the pavement beneath his worn Converse, hands balling themselves into fists, angry at Kise for not wanting to listen to him, but even more upset at himself for not wanting to trust him.

“Ryou!”

The sudden exclamation ripped through the silence between them, and Kise became animated again, leaving the remnants of anger and sadness back with Kasamatsu as he jogged up to meet his friends. Kasamatsu looked back in the direction of the subway station—he could still see the entrance from where he was standing—but he unclenched his fists with a sigh and turned to follow Kise, almost certain he wouldn’t be able to handle the loneliness that threatened to swallow him up if he took the subway home on his own.

Something akin to a fog started to creep into Kasamatsu’s mind, rendering him unable to catch the names of the people Kise introduced to him. His mind had a tendency of going blank whenever he was around a girl, and certainly, the two young women in front of him were incredibly good-looking, as was their male friend. The girl with a fluffy bowlcut was dressed in a circle skirt and an oversized black sweater, its fabric patterned a little strangely with the repeating design of a cartoonish fried egg, but she made it work, her outfit and hairstyle exuding almost a childish aura. The second woman’s winged eyeliner and bright red lipstick made him stiffen for a moment, but her smile was warm. Her dark hair was long—he imagined it reached the middle of her back, at least, and the bottom half was dyed a pale purple. Her black crop top showed a strip of skin on her stomach, but not too much, as her high-waisted leather pants covered up the rest. The man was dressed a little messier, ends of his collared shirt peeking out from underneath his argyle sweater, but round tortoiseshell frames perched on the bridge of his nose, and his hair was combed back in a smooth wave. 

Overall, they looked pretty casual, but Kasamatsu, wearing a long gray tee, a short-sleeved yellow plaid overshirt, and jeans, felt as underdressed and average as ever as he stood in front of them. He managed to sum up a vague gesture of civility as he nodded his hellos, trailing behind the group by a step or two as he followed them into the coffee shop.

The atmosphere was warm and intimate—or at least it tried to be, with upwards of fifty people packed inside the place. The lights were dimmed a little, and a modest wooden platform that claimed to be the stage hosted a stool, a microphone, and a bright lamp in the back of the shop. An old couch pushed up against the windows had somehow managed to be free of occupants, something that admittedly didn’t surprise Kasamatsu too much, given the splotchy mosaic of unknown dried liquids that covered its cushions, but Kise and his friends didn’t seem to mind the furniture’s appearance as they settled down into it. Kasamatsu was left standing, and was about to move a little awkwardly to the side in hopes of claiming the armrest as some form of a seat, but Kise jumped up and guided him to the couch, taking his guitar from his hands.

“Here, Kasamatsucchi, I’ll take the armrest. It’ll make up for the train ride earlier, mkay?” Kise’s words were warm and friendly, his ability to sublimate his hurt into a smile both impressive and painful. Sarcasm and pointed glares probably would have been preferable, Kasamatsu mused as he sank a little reluctantly into the couch.

“Is there anything you’d like to drink?” Kasamatsu looked up at the blond, trying not to linger too much on the hint of pain he saw in his eyes.

“If you see something you’d think I’d like, go for it.”

“Sure thing, senpai!” chirped Kise happily before bounding off to the counter. Kasamatsu took off his hat and turned it over in his hands, trying to not look at the crowd too much. It was starting to seem like he hadn’t entirely ruined the evening, which was a good sign, but the thought did little to lessen the uneasiness he felt in his gut. 

Kise came back a few minutes later, holding two mugs, and handed one to Kasamatsu. He stared into the mug, mesmerized by the artistic leaf drawn in swirls of milk on top of the brown liquid for a second, then lifted the latte to his lips and took a sip. It was warm, and a little sweet, but the espresso and hints of dark chocolate quickly negated the sweetness from being too intense. It was just the kind of drink Kasamatsu would have ordered, had he been familiar with what coffee shops typically served—he wasn’t a huge fan of coffee in the first place—and he loved it. He lifted his head to thank Kise, but the chatty blond had already inserted himself back into the conversation with his friends, so he sank back down again, trying to be less of an obstacle as they talked over his head.

Surprisingly, the latte did help Kasamatsu feel a little bit better. He had stopped himself from drinking it down in big, nervous gulps, and sipped carefully instead, letting the drink warm him as performers finally began to volunteer to take the stage. There were spoken word pieces about kinds of oppression that Kasamatsu didn’t quite understand, but there were also poems about love and happiness, of life and death. Someone performed an original song, and someone else did a cover of one of the top Oricon hits. After ten or so performances, there was a brief lull, during which Kasamatsu found Kise’s hand gently jostling his shoulder.

“Hey, Kasamatsucchi, you should go next!”

Kasamatsu bit his lip. It was true he was now feeling far less tense than when he first entered the shop, but it was also true that if he waited too long to perform, he might psyche himself out and become nervous again. Now was probably the best time, and yet he couldn’t help but feel like he was still a little out of place.

“I don’t know, Kise, I—”

“Oh, c’mon. It’ll be fun! Here, I’ll get your guitar for you.”  
Kise’s hands moved to unzip the guitar case, and Kasamatsu jumped up, wresting it from his hands.

“Hey, be careful with that, won’t you?!”

Moments later, Kasamatsu found himself with his guitar in his hands, and a near-frightening amount of eyes on him from those who had noticed the small ruckus taking place near the front of the shop. Normally, he would have bolted out the door, but something in his mind, whether it was brilliance or stupidity, marched his body onto the stage instead. He approached the microphone with a cough, planning to introduce himself like how those before him did.

“Uh, my name’s Kasamatsu Yukio,” he ventured, grateful that his voice wasn’t coming out nearly as strangled as he thought it would, “and I play guitar. I’ll be playing Riptide, which is by Vance Joy. The person who brought me here is the same person who introduced me to this song, so, this is for you, I guess.” He couldn’t quite see Kise due to the brightness of the lamp that shone onstage, but he still attempted to look in his direction before he sat down. The stool was a little hard and uncomfortable underneath him, but he tried to ignore it as he adjusted his capo. 

He inhaled and exhaled slowly, focusing on the feeling of the familiar strings underneath his fingers, trying his best to forget the crowd in front of him.

Then, he began to strum, and he realized it was stupid to doubt himself, especially when it came to something he had practiced so often he could probably play it in his sleep. His fingers slid back and forth over the frets, and he relaxed, a small smile rising to his face as he coaxed the notes out of the guitar. Out of all of his hobbies, he knew he loved basketball the most, but guitar followed closely behind because it was something entirely his own. The feeling of his guitar in his hands, of being able to create and improvise with the smallest of movements, comforted him in a way that a ball and hoop never could.

The notes hummed in the air for a moment after Kasamatsu finished playing, giving him a little time to bring himself back to reality. He gave the audience a small nod as their applause filled the room, and stepped offstage, holding his guitar by the neck as he waded through the crowd back to where its case was. 

Kise stood by the couch with stars in his eyes, and Kasamatsu, caught off-guard, forgot to bite down on his smile. He couldn’t say he would have wanted to hide it if he had remembered to, though.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he finally said, the euphoria still lightening his voice as he pushed Kise’s face away with an open palm. The blond whined in response and gently knocked his arm away, leaning over him as he moved to zip his guitar away in its stiff fabric case.

“I can’t help it, Kasamatsucchi! It’s not so often that you look so happy.” The last half of the sentence was soft, quiet. Kise almost had a sadness in his voice, and Kasamatsu wasn’t sure how to respond to it.

“Kasamatsu-kun, that was really amazing! How long have you been playing?”

“Do you write original music, too?”

“What kind of music do you usually listen to? Who’s your favorite musician?”

Kasamatsu looked up. Not only had Kise’s friends crowded around him, but a few strangers had gathered, too. The smiles on their faces might have been well-meaning, but all he could recognize in that moment was a sense of terror that shot to the surface.

“I—needtoexcusemyselfsorry,” came the jumble of words from Kasamatsu’s mouth as he scrambled up to his feet. He looked around bewilderedly for a second before finally spotting the restroom sign and made a beeline towards it.

“Don’t worry everyone,” Kise’s voice rose to his ears even as his mind went white, “I can answer any questions you guys have about Kasamatsucchi. I’m his best friend, after all!”

He remembered how to breathe again once he was safe behind the stall door. 

There was a soft knock on the door a few minutes later. Kasamatsu opened it and exited swiftly, ducking his head in hopes of hiding from further embarrassment, but he halted when fingers reached out to graze his shoulder. 

“Do you want to head home, Kasamatsucchi?” 

Kasamatsu looked up. Kise had his guitar slung over one shoulder, his baseball cap in one hand, eyes full of concern—something that Kasamatsu didn’t want to admit to needing.

“No, it’s fine.” He swallowed, finding his throat much drier than he expected. “We can stay.”

“Don’t make yourself do something you don’t want to do for my sake. Please.” Kise’s voice was so earnest that Kasamatsu could barely bring him to listen to it. He pried his hat from his fingers and jammed it on his head, and the blond followed him as he made his way out the door.

“I’m sorry,” Kasamatsu finally managed as they stood together, waiting for a train to arrive. “You didn’t have to come all the way back here with me.”

“It’s fine,” said Kise with a small yawn, “It was starting to get a little late anyways.”

Kasamatsu gazed down at his shoes.

“I must’ve looked like such a fucking _idiot._ ”

Kise’s brow wrinkled as he looked at Kasamatsu. He was only a few inches shorter than him, but he could have sworn he saw him start to shrink inside himself.

“Well,” Kise paused, letting the train settle into a rather noisy stop in front of them. “I’d try to look at the situation a little more positively than that. I mean, it wasn’t an all-out panic attack this time, so at least you have that going for you, right?”

The corner of Kasamatsu’s lip twitched up for a second at the comment, but he couldn’t bring himself to respond any further. The train was far less crowded than before, and he deposited himself into an empty seat, knitting his fingers together as he leaned his forehead into his hands with a small sigh. Kise sat down beside him, leaning his guitar between his legs. He placed a hand on his back, and started to move his palm up and down his spine.

“It’s okay, Kasamatsucchi,” he murmured, hoping to provide consolation in any way he could. “You did just fine.”

Kasamatsu lifted his head a few minutes later. He looked calm, but still a little pensive.

“…I’m sorry about earlier, Kise.”

“Honestly, senpai, don’t worry about it. You can’t help it, right? It’s not your fault.”

“No, it’s not that. The stuff I said about your friends earlier. I overreacted, and it was out of line, and even though I didn’t really talk to them, they seemed like really nice people. So, I’m sorry about that.” Kise smiled softly, relieved to see that he was in the mood to talk again.

“I’m going to be honest, Kasamatsucchi—those things you said earlier were pretty painful.” Kise paused, scratching the back of his neck for a moment. “But I can see that they came from a good place. The more I think about it, the more I realize that six years is a pretty big age gap. I mean, I wouldn’t feel super comfortable if a ten-year-old wanted to hang out with me, y’know? So it kinda helps put things in perspective.”

Kasamatsu nodded along with his words. Kise was his own person, and was allowed to have his own freedom, but he only wanted him to be a little more cautious when it came to such things.

“…I had a good time at the coffee shop, by the way. It was fun. The drink you got me was really good, and everyone there was really talented. Even with that hiccup at the end, it was still fun.”

“Really?” Kise lit up with a grin, and it helped Kasamatsu feel more at ease. “I’m so glad. To be honest, most of the stuff I drink is pretty sugary, so I wasn’t sure if you would like what I ordered you…but I’m glad you liked it. And yeah, the other performers were okay, but you? You were _amazing!_ It was so cool, seeing you play like that!”

Kasamatsu felt a blush rise to his cheeks. He coughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah. I mean, it was okay, I guess.”

“ _Okay?_ Kasamatsucchi, it was _fantastic!_ ” Kise let out a sigh of admiration. “I’ve been wanting to find more stuff to do with you, so I was really excited when you agreed to do this, and then to have you dedicate a song to me…it just really means a lot to me.” 

Ordinarily, Kasamatsu might have punched him for saying something like that, but he hesitated. He wasn’t quite sure how to react to such a statement, to be honest.

“…Hey, I was wondering. Did you ever look up a translation of that song?” Kasamatsu blinked.

“Uh, no, I didn’t.” He laughed, low in his throat. “Guess I caught up in working out the tabs instead. My bad.” 

“Do you want to read a translation of it? I’m sure I can find one on Google pretty quick.”

“Sure, why not.” 

Kasamatsu leaned closer to Kise, watching his screen as he scrolled through a page of search results. He tapped on a link, then handed his phone to Kasamatsu. A furrow developed in his brow as he read through the lyrics. He paused, about to hand the phone back to Kise, but reread them once more, lips slightly pursed when he finally placed the phone back in Kise’s hands.

“…It’s a love song,” mused Kasamatsu, not quite meeting Kise’s eyes. The blond nodded in silent agreement as he bit his lip, chewing it nervously. 

“Did…did you know the lyrics when you first sent me that song?”

There was a pause.

“Yes.”

Kasamatsu turned towards Kise. The blond met his eyes for a second, then glanced away, exhaling a soft laugh.

“I said earlier that I was allowed to have a life outside of basketball, and obviously, I need my time to breathe a little. But, if I’m going to be honest? I love basketball. The people I’ve met through modeling are nice, and really cool, but they don’t even care about sports most of the time.” Kise looked back towards Kasamatsu, hesitantly reaching over to run his thumb over the back of his hand. “They don’t care about it the way you do.”

Kasamatsu let out a sigh and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Honestly Kise, I am so close to punching you right now.” He opened his eyes and met the boy’s gaze. “I was so fucking scared that I was going to lose you.” Kise’s lip curled upward.

“That sounds like a pretty good reason to punch me, Kasamatsucchi.” Kasamatsu hummed softly in agreement.

“…I don’t know what this is, really,” he said as he opened his hand, letting Kise’s fingers slide between his own. “I don’t worry about Moriyama as much as I do you, and he has the potential to be far more stupider than you sometimes. I catch myself looking at you in the locker room when we’re changing, even when I tell myself not to. I still think girls are cute, albeit terrifying, though lately all I’ve really been able to think about is you.” He paused to squeeze Kise’s hand, letting out a breath when he returned the squeeze in affirmation. “Think you could help me figure this all out?”

Kise couldn’t help but gasp at the request, his chest rising, then falling as he settled back down into his seat, gripping Kasamatsu’s hand tight with a laugh.

“I would _love_ to, Kasamatsucchi.”

Kasamatsu smiled in response as he held Kise’s gaze. Suddenly, a curious look appeared on his face.

“Have you ever been kissed, senpai?”

“Oh, now you’re _really_ going to get punched, Kise.”

“Noooo, please don’t!” The blond raised his arm to defend himself, but no fists ever fell upon his body. He pouted and lowered his arm a few moments later, but only slightly, his hand moving to cup Kasamatsu’s cheek. 

“That was mean, senpai,” Kise murmured, his eyes half-lidded as he inclined his head closer to Kasamatsu’s, and the other boy flashed him a grin before growing subdued again. He closed his eyes, and Kise’s lips brushed against his in a small, soft movement, discreet enough to satisfy his curiosity, but still left him wanting more. Their heads drifted apart, though the taste of whipped cream and espresso still hovered on his lips.

“…Hey, Kise?”

“Yeah, Kasamatsucchi?”

“You’re way too young to be drinking coffee, you know.”


End file.
